The Mini Beats are a boy band
And their practice session has gone badly.
Their music tutor has lost patience;
For the boys, this can only end sadly.
First up was young Jonas
who sat and played the drum
"I'll show how to keep the beat
as I 'ply the switch to your bum!"
"Now take off your pants
And remove your shirt too,
because it covers your bottom
and I want each stroke to be true!"
The boy's round bottom was the drum
And the white thighs were the cymbal.
Tutor played with such fury and skill
that the lad's bottom did tremble.
The Little Drummer Boy cried and howled
As the stripes were put on his bare cheeks
"Please, sir, oh, Please, Please Me, sir and stop!"
The whipping did not stop, nor did the shrieks!
"I trust now you are learning
to keep the beat, boy, keep the beat!
As your bottom is now bleeding
I shall stop whipping your red seat."
The 12-year-old boy is set free
with tears streaming down his face.
The next to bare his bottom
is the young lad who plays bass.
Now a blond boy strips as Jonas did.
Markus, the youngest of the four,
is held down by Philip and Andi
knowing his bottom will soon be sore.
"The bass is an instrument
which must be played with skill.
Not just Helter Skelter,
you lazy little shill!"
Young Markus pleaded, "Oh, sir,
I swear I'll practice with all my might!"
But the switch landed again and again
And, oh, his bottom was such a sight!
Markus screamed and screamed as his
bottom and thighs were fiery red.
The tutor kept laying on the switch
till the young smarting bottom bled.
The tutor put down the frayed switch.
The whipping is over; Markus is free.
Tutor nods to the naked Jonas
to fetch a new switch as he decrees,
"Now a band must have rhythm
which must be played clearly and with force.
Andi, your playing has been sloppy,
so strip, like Jonas and Markus, of course!"
Jonas and Philip took Andi's wrists
And young Andi began to pout.
The switch soon raised such stinging welts
that Andi began to Twist And Shout.
Jonas and Philip held the boy tight.
The tutor kept whipping and whipping,
as the burning, stinging bottom writhed,
till blood flowed and a new boy began stripping.
Once sobbing Andi was set free,
young Philip knew what to do.
He didn't wait for tutor's command;
he took his pants off and his shirt too.
Now there were four boys with nothing on
but their white socks and dark shoes.
Though the three whipped boys liked Philip,
they wanted to see his bottom sore too.
Jonas and Andi bent Philip over
and Markus gave Philip's rump a swift kick.
Tutor, returning with a long green switch, says
"Philip, your singing makes me sick!"
The switch was applied very hard
And soon raised many burning red stripes.
Markus laughed as the bottom writhed
but Philip let no sound escape from his pipes.
Stripe upon stripe was laid on the bottom
Soon blood was streaming down the thighs.
Philip makes no sound and the tutor says,
"Markus, fetch a new switch," and sighs.
Markus returns with a long green switch
handing it to tutor with a smile on his face.
The switch is laid on the bottom and thighs
Till young Philip screams and cries in disgrace.
"Oh, sir, I will practice harder!
On my word, I'll improve my singing!
Please, sir, please stop!" shrieks young Philip.
"I can't take anymore of this stinging!"
Philip's whipping is over
and now all four Mini Beats
are looking over their shoulders
at their well-whipped bare seats.
"Now, boys, get ready to practice!
And with this green switch I'll keep the time.
That's right! No need to put your clothes back on.
Now play perfectly, 'I Feel Fine'!"