For Joel

by Smartass <smartass0@hotmail.com>

"Little Pasquali Caputo? Where are you?" the boy's father, called. "Little Pasquali Caputo, I'm a-gonna fin' you! - Little Pasquali Caputo, Who push-a da _s_h_i_t_ house ova da bank an inna da riva?" The boy slipped through the woods and into the barn from the back. His father, sensing the movement, went into the barn from the front and stood in the middle, looking about.

"Little Pasquali Caputo, come out, I wanna ask you who push-a da _s_h_i_t_ house ova da bank an inna riva." The was no movement, but Mr. Pasquali Caputo could here his son's rapid breathing coming from somewhere.

"Okay, Little Pasquali Caputo, you jus stay where you are an I'm-a gonna tell you a story about Little a-Georgie Washington, founder of dis a-greata country dats a-bin so good to us. One-a day, Mr. A-Georgie Washington, Little a-Georgie Washington's papa, say to him 'hey, Little a-Georgie Washington, someone a-cut-a down my cherry tree, whata you a-know about dat?' an Little a-Georgie Washington, he say to his papa, 'I can no tell a lie, Papa, I cut-a down da cherry tree' and you know, Mr. A-Georgie Washington, he so proud of his boy for telling da truth, dat he a-no beat him. He say 'you're a good boy, Little a-Georgie Washington, I'm a-no gonna beat you, you tell-a me da truth.'" He paused for the point to sink in, sat down on a crate in the middle of the big barn, and continued. "And now, Little Pasquali Caputo, I ask you agin, Who push-a da _s_h_i_t_ house ova da bank an inna da riva?"

There was just silence for a moment, but then Little Paquali Caputo bravely came out from behind a pile of hay, brushing away a tear his father's touching story had brought, and walked up to his father. "I can no tell a lie either, Papa. I push-a da _s_h_i_t_ house ova da bank an inna da riva."

The boy was instantly divested of his trousers and pulled across his fathers lap for the spanking of his lifetime. "Papa! [ah], Papa! [gasp] You a [ow!] tell-a me dat [aiee!] Mr. A-Georgie Wash[yow!]ington, he no beat [sob] Little a-Georgie [Papa!] Washington 'cause he tell-a da truth [sniff.]

Mr. Pasquali Caputo stopped momentarily to withdraw his belt from his belt loops and resuming his efforts, explained to his boy: "Mr. [kerack!] A-Georgie A-Wash[oomph]ington; he [womp] was a-no inna da [crack] cherry tree!"