"...and that's the final out!! Cleveland wins 4-2, and takes the series 3 games to 1! Looks like it's on to a matchup with Seattle in the League Championship series for the right to play in the World Series!"
"Woo-hoo!! Yeah, baby!" Todd yelled, jumping up and pumping his arm. "We're taking it all the way to the World Series!" Turning to his friend and fraternity brother Bill, who was still seated on the couch in front of the TV in the frat house, he yelled, "I TOLD you they would win it! This is the year man!!"
Bill yawned, stretched, and reached out to shake Todd's hand. "OK, I admit they handled Detroit better than I thought they would. Of course, now that they have to face my Mariners, it's all over. They might as well hire the fat lady right now!"
"Oh great, the only Seattle fan in all of Ohio would have to be my best friend."
"Not the ONLY Seattle fan. I know for a fact Ken Stark is a Seattle fan too..."
"Yeah, but he's just a bandwagon fan," Todd scoffed. "At least coming from Seattle originally, it makes sense for you to cheer for Seattle. Too bad they're going to get their asses handed to them. They'll be lucky not to get swept!!"
"Not a chance! No way can Cleveland touch Seattle's line up. They'll be lucky if they can even score a run, forget winnnin' four games!"
"Care to bet on that?" Bill asked. "$50 sound good?"
"Nah, man, I don't want to take your money. You have your car payment to make!"
"You won't be taking my money anyway, little man! I just think you aren't that sure Cleveland will win. You're too chicken to bet on them!"
"_f_u_c_k_ that, man!" Todd replied. "I'm just saying neither one of us can afford to lose $50 right now!"
"All right, all right! Chill out," Bill said, laughing. "Maybe there is something else we can bet on." Glancing around the room, Bill's eyes landed on an unpainted paddle lying on a table underneath several decorated paddles which were hanging on the wall. He crossed the room to pick it up, and swung it throught the air, pretending to swat someone with it. "How 'bout this then? When Seattle wins, I get to give you a swat with this?"
"You mean, when CLEVELAND wins, I'll be swatting your ass!" Todd said.
"A swat it is then, bro! I'll make sure not to take it easy on you!"
"It'll be me making sure not to take it easy on you," Todd replied, then shooting Bill a challenging look asked, "How sure are you the Mariners can win? Because a one swat bet doesn't sound too sure to me!"
"OK, big shot, what do you propose?"
"How about 5?"
"No, I don't think so," Bill replied, giving Todd a challenging look of his own. "If we're gonna do this, let's do it right! Winner swats the loser 10 times sound good?"
Todd's eyes widened in surprise a little, but he finally said, "It's your ass on the line, why not? And as long as we're upping the bet here, why don't we throw in extra swats for margin of victory?
"What do you mean by that?" Bill asked, confused.
"I mean, if one team wins 4 games to 3, there is only one penalty swat..."
"I see," Ken cut in, "and if it's a sweep, then the loser gets 4 penalty swats. I'll agree...but are you up for one more rule?"
"Whatever man, like I said, it'll be your ass anyway."
"OK then. After the 10 regular swats, the loser will have to take the penalty swats pants down!"
"You mean bare ass?!?" Todd asked, incredulously.
"I was thinking just pants down and skivvies up, but now that you mention it, why not? 10 swats, plus penalty swats on the bare ass depending on margin of victory. Agreed?" Bill said, sticking out his hand.
"Agreed!" Todd replied, shaking his friend's hand. "Let's head out to that party the Kappas are having, cool?"
Later that night, lying in his bed unable to sleep because Bill , whose room was opposite his, was _f_u_c_k_ing an extremely loud sorority chick he had picked up at the party, Todd wondered whether the bet he had made was a good idea after all. His fraternity had done away with paddling during pledging, and he had only exchanged an occasional swat here and there, mostly when drunk. He knew he was a muscular guy, but Bill was too. He knew that if he won the bet, he wouldn't pull his swing in the slightest, so he fully expected the same if Bill won. Cleveland was just going to have to win, he decided, and that was that. Just then, Bill popped his head into the room. Seeing that Todd was awake, he grinned and said, "_d_a_m_n_, man, that chick wore me out and she still wants more! You want a turn? I'm going to grab a beer." What the hell, Todd thought, climbing out of bed and heading over to Todd's room. We share everything else!!
"Oh my! That ball is flying out of here!! WAY BAAACCK!! GONE! HOMERUN!! Cleveland wins another game on the bat of Jim Thome in the bottom of the ninth. Cleveland leads the series now 2-0, and the series will to Seattle for the next three games!"
"Oh yeah, check that out!!" Todd was jumping around the room pumping his arm. "Hell yeah!! Take that!!" Bill, who until the grand slam had been rubbing it in all night, sat with his head down. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, looks like Cleveland's gonna kick their ass.....then I'm gonna beat yours!!"
"It takes four games to win, don't forget it!" Bill said, socking Todd in the arm. "And it's going back to Seattle now!!"
"They could play at the _f_u_c_k_ing North Pole, it wouldn't matter, Cleveland would still win!" Todd yelled. "It might as well be over!"
"......it might as well be over," Todd muttered to himself as yet another Mariner crossed home plate. After winning the first two games, Cleveland decided to self-destruct; batters unable to get a hit, pitchers unable to throw a strike. They had lost the first two at Seattle, and were well on their way to losing the third.
"And that's the ballgame folks! Seattle was on fire tonight, winning 14-2. It's back to Cleveland, but unless the Indians can somehow pull it together, it looks like the Mariners are headed to the World Series."
"I knew it!" yelled Bill! "That's what I'm talking about." Getting up from the couch, he slapped Todd on the shoulder. "Looks like I'd better practice my swing!" Chuckling, he headed to the fridge for a beer.
Two days later, on Friday night, many of the brothers, including Bill and Todd, were gathered around the TV. Bill had placed the blank paddle on top of the TV for everyone to see. Of course, by now all the brothers had heard about the bet, and though everyone in the room was cheering for Cleveland to win except for Bill, nobody was able to resist giving Todd a hard time.
"Looks like a win-win situation tonight," laughed a senior, "Either Cleveland delivers a good old fashioned ass-whoopin' to tie it up, or we get to see Bill deliver a good old fashioned ass-whoopin'!"
"I oughtta whip your ass, Myers!" Todd yelled, trying to play along and not look like a bad sport. Besides, he thought, things were looking good. Cleveland was up by three in the ninth inning, and Seattle had two outs and only one guy one base. However, the next guy got a single. Then, much to Todd's dismay, the next two guys walked. To make things worse, the next guy hit a single to the outfield, scoring two runs. By the time Cleveland was finally able to make the last out, 4 runs had scored, Cleveland was losing by three and had only one inning to make it up.
"Strike three!! Yeah!!" Bill yelled.
"How pathetic! My grandma could hit it harder than that!" Todd yelled, as the second batter of the inning hit a weak grounder to the pitcher.
Fortunately, the next batter walked. And up to the plate....Jim Thome. On the first swing, Thome swung and CRACK! "Oh yeah!! Oh YEAH!!" Yelled Todd, jumping up and down with most of the other guys in the room. "Game seven, here we come, game seven....oh NO!!!"
Dead silence fell in the room. The left fielder had leapt almost to the top of the wall and caught the ball just before it cleared the fence. It was over Cleveland had lost.
"OH BABY!!! EAT THAT!!" Bill yelled into the silence. "Hell YEAH!!" Walking over to where Todd was sitting in stunned disbelief, Bill said "And it's time for my big mouth friend to pay up! Get your ass off that couch and bending over it instead buddy!"
Bill grabbed the paddle from off the TV, and turned around to look at Todd who was still staring blankly at the screen. "Come on man, we have some business to take care of."
"Yeah, Todd, let's get the show on the road!" yelled one of the brothers. "Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd!" Soon all of the guys in the room were chanting Todd's name, and Bill smirked at him and offered him a hand up. Brushing it aside, Todd stood up to applause from the assembled fraternity members. He took a few mock bows, then looked Bill right in the eye and said, "All right, do your worst. I can take anything you dish out. I probably won't even feel it!" Then, without giving Bill a chance to respond, he walked to the back of the couch, and bent over, placing his hands on the back of the couch, presenting his jeans covered ass as a target for his friend.
Bill walked over behind Todd, brandshing the paddle. He rubbed it on Todd's ass, and ,laughing, said, "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me!"
"Cut the crap and get on with it!" snarled Todd.
"All right. Just for fun, after each swat I want you to say 'Mariners rule' and yell out the number!"
With that, he pulled back the paddle and swung. CRACK! Although it made a loud sound, it was obvious to everyone that Bill hadn't swung it as hard as he could. Todd felt nothing but a slight tingle after the initial sting. "Mariners rule. ONE. That all you got, pussy?" he yelled.
CRAAAAAAACCK!!! For the second swat, Bill pulled back and swung as hard as he could. "_d_a_m_n_!" yelled one of the assembled frat brothers. Todd grunted, his breath hissing. Maybe calling Todd a pussy wasn't a good idea! "M..Mariners rule! TWO. CRAAAAACCK!! CRAAAACCCKK! CRAAAACCCK!! "Mariners r..rule. F..Five!" Todd's ass was really starting to hurt. He was gasping for breath, and he felt his eyes starting to tingle. Dammit, he was not going to _f_u_c_k_ing cry!
CRAAAAAACCK!! CRAAACCCK!! CRAAAAACCK!!! "Mah!" Todd gasped after the eighth swat. "Mah...Mah....Mariners Rule." CRAAAAACCCK!!!
"Hey, he didn't say eight!" Myers called out. "If he didn't count it, I don't think it should count!"
"He didn't give me time!" Todd yelled out desperately.
"Do it over! DO it over!" Myers started chating. Soon, all the guys were yelling it.
"All right, we'll do it again!" Bill called out, causing everyone to applaud.
"Asshole," thought Todd, but not wanting to appear a wimp, didn't say anything.
"Go ahead and count number nine as eight, then we'll continue," Bill said.
"Mariners rule. Eight!" Todd said quietly. Gritting his teeth for the next swat, Todd waited. Bill pulled back the paddle, then took a step back. Stepping forward, he slammed the paddle into Todd's butt a little lower than the other swats, hitting partly on the thigh. "GAAGAG!! Mariners rule nine!" Todd gasped out. He could feel his eyes watering and fought back tears desperately. CRAAAACK!! "Mariners rule! Ten!" Todd called out. Bill had apparently decided to take it a little easy on him for the last swat, but on top of the other nine, his ass burned.
Todd stood up, and Bill was waiting with his arms open to give him a hug. Embracing his friend and brother, Todd whispered "_d_a_m_n_ that hurt!"
"And it's not over yet," Bill whispered back. "Sorry, man, but a bet's a bet. Bare that ass and let's get it over with. So you know, I'm going to go all out on these last two swats. I love you, man, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I know you'd do the same if we were reversed."
For a second, Todd considered trying to conceal himself as much as possible, but decided instead that if was going to be bare assed in front of his friends, he might as well ham it up a little. Hoping with all hope that he would avoid crying, he whipped his shirt off, swung it over his head and tossed to Myers.
"OOH! Take it off baby!" Myers whistled, laughing "Show me that ass!"
Next, Todd unbuckled his belt, unzipped his fly, and slowly pulled off his pants, standing there in his boxers. Then, leaning back over the couch, he called "Bill, you want my skivvies off, you take 'em off!" In the back of his mind he was hoping Bill might just leave them on, but he quickly felt Bill's hands grab the bottom of his boxers and yank them down to his ankles. Embarrassed because his dick and balls were hanging for everyone to see, Todd braced himself on the couch. Bill pulled back the paddle. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!! Todd gasped, tears flying instantly into his eyes. That _f_u_c_k_ing paddle hurt 10 times worse on the bare.
"Last one!" Bill called out. CRAAAAAAAAAACCK!!! The paddle thundered into Todd's completely unprotected butt cheeks. Squeezing his eyes closed and biting his trembling lip, Todd fought desperately to compose himself. Despite his efforts, tears leaked down his cheeks. Reaching down painfully to pull up his boxers, Todd stood up to the applause of every guy in the room. Smiling, Todd took another mock bow. Althought his ass hurt, and he was sure it would hurt for days to come, he had proven he could take it.