It was the worst of times....it was the worst of times...
I had been able to avoid sitting for most of the time after Gavin's paddling early Sunday evening. At the breakfast table, I just walked around quickly, so Dad would think that I just had a lot to do - too busy to sit for a family breakfast, dontcha know. Very 1990's cliched house. I knew I couldn't avoid it much longer when it came time to ride the bus to school.
Lee was there at the bus stop, watching me struggle, with a big grin on his face.
"Stop smiling," I said, sitting down slowly and wincing. "This isn't funny."
"So, it still hurts?" he chuckled.
"_d_a_m_n_ right!" I snapped, quickly lowering my voice. "You'd be in hellish pain too if you had spent most of yesterday being spanked by eight assholes. And some of them MORE THAN ONCE!"
"Eight?" he seemed confused. "I didn't spank you...."
"I know that."
"Well....who else spanked you?"
I looked away; I didn't want to talk to him about it., but I knew he would find out. "Gavin tagged me when I got home," I whispered.
"He did? Ouch! On top of what you already got from the guys? Man, what did you do to deserve it?"
"Never mind. I don't want to talk about it."
"Did you steal another video game?"
"Shut up!" I said, before adding, "NO!"
"Cool," he said, doing the numbers again. "But that should just be seven....whose the eighth?"
I looked at him, then pointed to the front of the bus where Vincent's older half-brother was sitting.
"Ike?!" Lee gasped. "Ike spanked you!"
"Like you didn't already know."
"I swear. Vincent and I haven't talked, dude."
"You knew Ike was coming back."
"So? Everyone did. That's all Vincent talked about last week."
"Not to me he didn't."
"You didn't know Ike was coming back? Dude, where was your head? Why did you think his grandparents had to be out all day?"
"I dunno."
"All that talk I was giving you about him coming back...?"
'I thought that was just some of your bull_s_h_i_t_," I sighed. "Either that, or it was going to happen closer to Christmas or something. I had no idea he was coming back this weekend! I just wasn't thinking about that. I had other things about Vincent to think about."
"Man! And he has already gotten to spank you!"
"I don't want to talk about that either," I mumbled.
"Lucky bastard."
"Lee, I mean it...."
"I mean, how long have we been friends?"
"Too long."
"And I have never been allowed to spank you?!"
"You had your chance yesterday," I said, looking at him. "Why didn't you?"
"I told you. I thought you had more than enough. Besides, I sort of owed you from before."
"About not keeping your big mouth shut?"
He laughed. "That's one way to put it. YOUR way."
I shook my head and glared at Ike. "I don't like him, Lee. I don't like him and I don't trust him. Especially around Vincent."
"I don't know. I think Vince can handle his own with his brother without you protecting him."
"Some protecting," I said, laughing. "It was more like he protected me last night."
"What do you mean? Vince protected you?"
"I'll explain later." I shifted in my seat. It felt like I was sitting on hot, broken glass.
"Dude, you should have stayed home today and rested that butt," he said, seeing the agony I was in. "That's what I did two weeks ago after I was 'it' during The Game. Those little punks wore me out."
"I can't believe you are encouraging those kids to do that."
"I'm not encouraging anything."
"You and your friend, TOM!" I said. "I heard about him e-mailing Dawn's little brother...not just Gavin now, huh?"
"Tom is, well, he's just a friendly guy."
"I bet."
"You can't keep them ALL away from him."
"It's just sick, that's all."
"Oh, look who is suddenly the prude!" he laughed.
"I am not a prude, it's just that, well, that game is not right."
"You weren't such a prude when Donnie was, how should I put this?" he said, before whispering in my ear, "Giving you head."
"WHAT!" I screamed. "How did you find out?"
"Tom e-mailed me about it last night."
"OH MY GOD!" This was almost comical. "How did HE find out?!"
"Donnie e-mailed him."
"Christ!" I shook my head. I'm sure the whole world knew it now! With much luck, there was probably some perv writing about this story right now and posting it on some sort of homo-erotic spanking board! "I just need to move away from the whole lot of you."
"I hear they have an empty dorm room at Ike's old school!"
"Ha-ha." God, this was so embarrassing.
"Hey, don't sweat it about, Donnie. He does it with everyone."
"What?"
"Sure," Lee laughed. "I don't know if there is a prick in the entire neighborhood that hasn't felt the back of his throat."
"That's...that's disgusting," I muttered.
"Prude," he laughed.
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
Out of nowhere I decided to tell him: "Gavin decided that I need to be spanked each and every day this week after school, so it's never going to feel right again. My butt, that is."
"Each and every day? Man, what the hell did you do?"
I shook my head. "Let's just say that I might have deserved one spanking, but I don't deserve all of these others. This is just some bogus _s_h_i_t_ here, dude."
"What are you going to do?"
"What else can I do?" I shrugged. "I guess I take it."
"Man, I'm glad I don't have....ahhhh....that stinks," he suddenly said, stopping himself from saying something.
"What?"
"I mean, I'm glad my Dad isn't that mean."
"Oh." Lee's father was a strict man - maybe even stricter than my father - but, as the local Cub Scout leader, he also could be a very kind, gentle soul who loved kids almost as much as watching Foreign art films, the music of Michael Jackson and black and white...errrrr...nature photography.
Hmmmmm...
"So, what do you think?"
"About what?"
"About me....about me and you....about that IOU."
"Oh," I laughed. "I've actually forgotten about that."
"That's cool too," he said, with that winning smile.
"Do you want me to forget it?" I asked.
"Would you?" he said, eagerly. "I mean you don't have to, but would you....I'm not sure what I was thinking when I did it."
"So now you don't want me to cash it in, but if I do, you WILL still honor it, huh?"
He nodded his head.
"I'll get back to you," I said. "A whole day with you as my slave....after yesterday that seems very, very appealing."
"Dude, don't forget who didn't spank you yesterday!"
"Oh, I'm not. But I'm also not forgetting who jerked off for a good five minutes longer, giving Nelson more and more time to whack me, BEFORE he announced he wouldn't be spanking me after all."
"Dude, come on. I was jerking off. There is no such thing as time or space when you are jerking off."
"True enough," I sighed.
The bus pulled into the school. We agreed to have lunch together. I did make it through the day without much excitement. I saw Ike a couple of times, but (thankfully) we both avoided eye contact. Every class the throbbing of my butt would pick up again whenever I sat back down – this was hell! This was just such hell! And to make things worse, I just knew that Gavin was at school bragging to Vincent about spanking me all this week, and Vincent (and Donnie and Nelson and Ken and Jamie) were more than likely bragging to him about what happened on Sunday. I felt like a marked man whose time was coming to an end.
I kept going over in my head on what would happen if I didn't let Gavin spank me anymore. What REALLY would happen? Dad would be pissed, and HE would spank me. Was that it? After everything I have already been through, was that any worse than Gavin taking me down to a video game store and letting a total stranger spank me? Was it any worse than the abuse I was subjected to on Sunday?
My answer each time was a resounding, "No." Dad couldn't come up with anything that was worse than what I was currently going through. But still....I couldn't pull the plug.
Why?!
Why couldn't I just do it?
I managed to face the Hanson's about what they did, and hopefully things there are going to change. This wasn't any harder, was it?
_d_a_m_n_!
Maybe it was the Gavin factor, and how I suddenly found myself so in love with him. Or was I confusing lust with love again? Man, I hate when that happens. Maybe I didn't want to disappoint him, and show him, by example, what a good boy was suppose to be like?
No way! That doesn't make a _d_a_m_n_ bit of sense. Ike was right...I am a pussy.
It is simply reinforcing in him no respect for me. We had gone around and around with this for awhile, his increasing "trigger finger" (or in this case, "spanker hand") when it came to punishing me. If I was really honest with myself, I could see that this has been coming for awhile now. He had grown to love spanking me more than he had actually loved me.
_d_a_m_n_! That's what's going on....
And it was only getting worse. That Friday night I spent the night he was on a war-path, almost from the moment I walked in the door. He didn't care that the spanking wasn't fair; he was going to do it and love it. I took it because I am (deep down) a big, friggin wuss.
That had to change. It had to.
It turned out to be a beautiful day. The rain from the day before had really cleaned out the air. It was so nice, it almost fooled me into thinking that my life was different than it was. Waiting at the school bus I was almost convinced that life didn't suck too much. Then, of course, reality cam crashing back - this time in the form of Gavin's school bus, that arrived on time. He got off the bus. Vincent was with him. So was a younger boy named Otto Kirby.
"Hey, Matt," Vince said.
"Hey." I didn't bother addressing Gavin - I was still too pissed at him to look at him in the eyes.
"Did Ike come home with you?" he asked.
"He came on the bus, but he went on ahead, walking with Lee."
"Oh," he said, looking very worried.
"What's wrong?" Gavin asked Vin.
Somehow I could just tell from Vincent's reaction that his brother was going to be home alone - no guardians. I could tell that frightened him. _d_a_m_n_, I didn't need this either. I needed to stay mad at both boys, as much as I could - showing sympathy is the sign of a pussy.
_d_a_m_n_!
I knew what Ike alone with Vincent could mean better than anyone; maybe even better than Vincent himself.
"Oh," I said, softly, looking at Gavin, who was looking at Vincent. "Do you want to stay at my house?" I asked. I am such a big old hairy pussy!
"I was going to go to Otto's, but if it's ok with you two..." Vin said.
"What's the big deal?" Gavin asked again.
"Nothing. It's just that my grandparents aren't home right now."
"So?"
"So, I don't really want to be around him, Ike, alone," he said. "He's pretty pissed about yesterday."
"Yesterday?" Gavin asked. "What happened yesterday?"
Vince looked at me. "You didn't tell him?"
I shook my head.
He then looked at Otto. "I guess I'll go with them, dude, but thanks."
"Sure thing, Vin," the little kid said, before turning and going through the yards.
Vincent turned to Gavin. "I thought you told me on the bus that you saw Matt when he got home last night?"
"We talked about other things last night," Gavin said, looking at me.
"So you didn't hear what...what happened with me and Ike?"
"No."
I sighed. "Vincent's grandfather made him spank Ike."
"You spanked your big brother!" Gavin said, almost beaming with pride. "How cool is that?"
"Not very," he said. "Ike isn't like Matt. He's not just going to take something like that."
Ouch! That hurt almost more than a spanking!
"Oh, you can break him in," Gavin said, nodding his head. "I'll show you how."
"Gavin....!"
"Hush!" the little 11 year old snapped.
"I really don't think...."
"I really don't CARE, now hush," he said back to me.
_d_a_m_n_, we sounded like an old married couple.
Vincent didn't know whether to smile or look concerned as we walked up to my house. "You see," Gavin continued. "Matt has been very naughty lately, and he knows that he is going to get spanked every day this week."
"Every day?"
"Yup. Each and every day. So he learns his lesson."
"What lesson?" Vincent asked, looking at me. "What did you do?"
"Plenty," Gavin said.
Vincent let out a nervous chuckle. I couldn't stand this. I wanted to take that little brat (actually BOTH OF THEM) and put him over my knee right then and there! The nerve of him! By the time we got to the house I was boiling I was so furious.
"I don't know about you, but I think that we need to get this party started right away," Gavin said. "Boy," he barked at me. "Off with your clothes!"
"Gavin!" I yelled. "Don't push it."
"Don't push it!" he laughed. "I haven't even begun! OFF WITH THEM!"
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
"Because it's my responsibility," he said, turning to Vincent. "See? You paying attention?"
"Yeah," Vince said. Little did Gavin know, Vincent was just as good a spanker as he was. Maybe better.
"Don't make me call your father!"
"Your bluffing!"
"Let's find out!" he said, walking over to the kitchen phone.
"If....if you do that, then I'm going to tell EVERYONE about what YOU don't want them to find out!" I snapped.
"You swore you wouldn't say anything!" Gavin was livid.
"Well, you are pushing me, little boy! Little BABY boy!"
There we were – in what they like to call a "Mexican Stand-off" waiting for the other one to make a move. Any move.
"Fine. Do that. I'll just deny it," he finally said. "I will just say that you are a liar."
"People will believe me."
"No they won't. They'll just think you are some bitter, old fag who is pissed because he didn't get a chance to screw a little kid!"
I gasped at that one – this had taken on a horrible turn. I could tell Vincent was now reconsidering going to Otto's house - hell being alone with Ike must seem better than being in the same room with me and Gav.
"Are you going to take off your clothes and let US spank you, or are you going to make ME do something I really, really don't want to do?" he asked, calmly and coldly. Any love that had been there between us was now gone, and that's when I realized where this anger was coming from. He was blaming me for what happened Friday night. Somewhere, maybe in his self-conscious, he believed that I molested him or something. Maybe he had been talking on line to Lee's friend again. I don't know. What I did know was that this wasn't love.
"Fine," I said, through gritted teeth, and watery eyes. "You win."
"As usual." He was becoming quite the pompous prick.
I walked into the living room and took every stitch of clothing off and waited there with my arms folded. I could hear them in the kitchen talking in quiet, muffled tones. I knew, at that moment, that there was no greater loser than me. Here I was, willing to take another uncalled for spanking by a child I should be spanking the hell out of. If ever there was a perfect moment to break this cycle of abuse, I had missed it again.
This would never end....