Letter #4 "Firm Structure Here Now"
Cal,
I was particularly attracted to the exchange with Scott you shared and then his own note. Because our interests are on the same, I decided to write and let you know that this is a reality to me too ...it's not all fantasy. I turned 27 last year, am Ivy League educated, professional, articulate, athletic, and (I've been told) attractive. My job is very demanding, hectic, and fast paced, but I enjoy it. During leisure time, like most males, I love sports both to watch and play ... as a matter of fact I played football in college, if you can believe that! In any case, I am a very regular masculine guy and always in control, except for one area.
I guess it's because I am in a "controlling" position in my professional life that I tend to gravitate to a more "controlled" alternative life style in my more domestic arena. I am in a loving and trusting relationships with a slightly older man which involves the corporal arts as both discipline and punishment. He is a nurse, who I met when I was in training, and we have been a couple for 2 years.
It all started very innocently one day when he playfully snapped a plastic ruler across the back of my jeans, as I was reaching for a chart. Yes, you guessed it. We both work in the same place. We began dating and the serious discipline evolved gradually as we became intimate and understood each other's souls. The first time I "came under" occurred when I ignored his modest request to be on time for a dinner engagement he had arranged with friends ... I really didn't want to be hemmed in by his schedule, and so I arrogantly played tennis instead, lost track of the time, and kept him waiting for 2 hours. He was absolutely FURIOUS ... LIVID is the word! When he verbally chastised me, I compounded things by being flippant and back-sassing him by making a wise, smart-mouthed remark, like "Shut up and relax". When I emerged from the shower wet and naked (a bad situation), he was waiting fully dressed with a wooden bath brush in his right hand.
What happened after that is best described as a "religious experience". In a low and very scary voice he told me that I was never to back-talk him again, never to disobey him, never to keep him waiting, and that I was to be attentive to his needs. He looked right through me. He ordered me to turn around, place my hands on the edge of the sink, stand on my toes, arch my back and present my bottom for punishment. My ass was naked and still wet, but the look in his eyes told me this man was serious. I inexplicably obeyed those orders, because somehow I knew that I needed to be punished not just for what I had just done but secretly it was something I had thought bout for a long time ever since I was a teenager and wished someone would take charge of me even back then. He grabbed me and pulled my ass up higher and then snapped the flat side of that awful brush 40+ times hard on my bare wet fanny and thighs. When I broke decorum and tried to protect myself with my hand, he told me to never get out of position again, as the brush revisited the same spots again and again. When punished I am to remain still. When it was over I was sobbing uncontrollably for the first time in my life ever, and he watched me as I danced around the bathroom naked furiously trying to rub the sting from my cheeks. I never realized how much a brush could hurt, but I learned that lesson that time for sure!
Our relationship has thrived as a result of his guidance, he has built a very firm domestic structure around here now, nurtured a clear patriarchal environment though he is not all that much older, and enforces his rules rigidly, firmly, frequently but fairly with that punishment brush. They aren't unreasonable rules either ... just things that define respectful behavior between a guy like me and his man...punishable offenses include things like inattentiveness, cussing, disobedience, obnoxiousness, and macho attitude, and most especially, back-talk for which I get quickly slapped and then spanked as soon as he has time to do it to me. Ouch! Yes, he's strict! I have household chores that have to be completed, or else I get it at night and at night it is always much worse because he has more time to devote to it. Not good for me!
We have a "total obedience" understanding; in other words, without question I accept discipline from him whenever and wherever he feels I need it. The decision to spank me is his and his alone. I get spanked a lot and I know he enjoys giving it to me. He must have read articles about all this, because he also makes use of the very effective rituals that go hand-in-hand with hard bare-bottom spankings (ie. baring the bottom ALWAYS, kneeling in the corner, fetching the implement, asking for punishment before, thanking for punishment after, ridiculous costumes, soap in the mouth, assigned lines in a journal, announcing a spanking in a restaurant, and one "very special" witness). There are no "safe" words, and spanking sessions are frequent, prolonged and severe ... always producing tears and my promises to be good.
I wish I could say this was a permanent relationship. There is no one I would rather be with, but our professional demands always threaten to separate us in the future. I guess life must be lived one day at a time. But I also know if anything ever causes us to part, I will look for another man just like him.
Peter