Mathematics Lesson


by Tom <Tqbartleby@hotmail.com>

Mathematics Lesson

My brother Jonathan is five years younger than me and can be a real pest. He's always getting away with stuff I never got away with when I was eight, and not only that he sucks up to Mother and gets special treatment, whereas I am told to be responsible and behave myself. That's why I wanted Jon to be caught for playing hookey, and why I was glad when he was and he got strapped at school.

Our schoolmaster Mr. Ethan is very strict. He gives 20 licks for just about anything. Our father is even stricter. He lets us have it, too, with his belt, and the rule is that if we are punished at school we get his own punishment, then twice what Mr. Ethan gave us. That's why we're very careful to behave at school.

So on Wednesday morning when Mr. Ethan told Jonathan he knew he hadn't been home sick on Tuesday but had played hookey instead, and then gave Jonathan twenty licks, Jonathan wasn't going to mention it at home, and neither was I, even though Mr. Ethan had told him to. I'd give Jon that much brotherly feeling, anyway.

On Thursday it all began to happen. Mr. Ethan had us say our morning prayer, then turned to Jon where he was sitting with the younger students. I sit with the middle students, aged 12-15. "Tell me, Jonathan Ames," he said. "What did your father say when you told him about your punishment yesterday?"

Jon sat very still. "He was upset with me, sir," he finally said.

"When you told him?"

"Yes, sir."

"Jonathan, you are a very wicked boy. I met your father this very morning before class began and he was surprised to learn of it. He didn't know you had played hookey and he didn't know you had been punished. What do you have to say?"

"I'm sorry, sir." I could see Jon's knuckles white as he gripped the edge of his desk.

"Step up here, Jonathan."

Jonathan went up to the front of the class. Mr. Ethan took the heavy leather strap down from the wall.

"Bend over," he ordered. There was a table at the front of the class and we had to face away from the class and bend over it to get the strap.

Jon bent over. He had to go up a little bit on tiptoe. He was wearing shorts, which stretched tight across his bottom.

"Twenty for disobeying me and not telling your father," said Mr. Ethan, and proceeded to give him twenty.

Jon stood up afterwards but Mr. Ethan placed his hand on his shoulders. "Back down," he ordered. "Twenty for lying to me about it."

And poor Jon got twenty more. He returned to his seat crying and clearly was uncomfortable sitting down.

That night at home, Father told Jon he knew all about the hookey. He told Jon he was going to get 20 for playing hookey, then 20 more because on Tuesday Father had asked him how school was that day and he said mathematics had been hard; Father said that was a lie, since he hadn't actually been to school. Then Father said he was also going to get double what Mr. Ethan had given him. Jon said he had gotten 10 at school, so Father said he would get 20 for that. Then he and Jon went outside to the woodshed. I could hear the whipping and it went on a long time.

I'd been happy to see Jon get 20 for playing hookey, but today he had gotten much worse, and I felt bad for him. I hated to think how his poor bottom must be feeling.

The next day, Friday, Mr. Ethan brought it up again with Jonathan.

"Jonathan, I assume your father gave you what for for playing hookey."

"Yes, sir."

"Why on earth didn't you tell him when I told you to? Surely you didn't think you'd get away with it forever. What made you dissemble and lie? Is is that you were afraid of his punishment?"

"Yes, sir."

"What punishment does he give you?"

"The belt, sir. And...." He fell silent.

"And? Go on, what else?"

"And then he gives double what you give at school, sir."

Mr. Ethan looked happily surprised. "Does he now? Excellent! A true disciplinarian!" He nodded thoughtfully, then added, "So you told him what I gave you yesterday?"

In a small voice, Jon said, "Yes, sir." He seemed to shrink in his seat.

Mr. Ethan looked at him shrewdly, then went on with class.

On Monday, as we walked to the schoolhouse, we looked back down the road to our house and saw that Mr. Ethan's horse and carriage had pulled up outside, and Mr. Ethan was talking to Father. Jon went pale.

In class, Mr. Ethan gave us a math problem to do.

"All right, class," he said. "Let's do some simple calculations." He walked to the blackboard.

"Jonathan Ames played hookey," he said, and he wrote "HOOKEY".

"I told him to tell his father, and he didn't." On the board he wrote "DISOBEDIENCE".

"But he told me he did." On the board he wrote "LYING".

"I told his father about the hookey." On the board he wrote "HOOKEY (HOME)".

"Jonathan's father also realized that Jonathan had lied to him about going to school that day." On the board he wrote "LYING (HOME)."

"Jonathan had told his father I had given him 10 licks." On the board he wrote "HOOKEY (10)."

"Now, knowing that Jonathan's father gives him the same punishment I give him, plus double what I give him, how many licks has Jonathan received so far?"

After a few minutes scribbling, Polly Jackson raised her hand.

"Yes, Polly?" asked Mr. Ethan.

"You gave Jon 20 licks for playing hookey, then 20 for disobedience, then 20 for lying. Mr. Ames gave Jon 20 for playing hookey, 20 for lying, and twice the ten Jon told him he'd gotten from you. That makes 120 licks!"

"Very good, Polly! That's what I had calculated, too. Jonathan, how many licks have you received so far?"

"That's right, sir," he mumbled. "120 licks."

"All right," said Mr. Ethan, "Now for part two." He went back to the board and erased what he had written so far.

"I told Mr. Ames this morning what I really gave Jonathan. I'm sure you all remember that. Next problem: Who can tell me the number of licks Jonathan is going to get now?"

After some calculations, Billy Jensen raised his hand.

"Yes, Billy?"

"Jonathan will get 20 from you for lying to his father, twice the 10 he didn't tell his father about, and twice the other 20 licks you gave him. That makes 80 licks!"

"I'm afraid you're missing a few, Billy. Yes, Alice?"

Alice Smith said, "He'll also get 20 from his father for lying, plus those other licks. 100!"

Mr. Ethan smiled. "Still not quite up to the real number." The class was silent as we all went back to the calculation. A couple of other kids also got wrong answers. To my embarassment Mr. Ethan called on me next.

"William Ames? You might have a better idea than anyone else. What have you calculated?"

I swallowed and avoided looking at Jon, who was a miserable sight as he twisted his hands together and looked exceedingly glum.

"Well, sir, I figure you'll give him 20 for lying to our father about the number of licks you gave him originally; then 20 for lying to you when he said he had told our father what you gave him. Then Father will give him 20 for lying to him about the number of licks, and another 20 for lying to you about having told him. But I think he'll also give him 20 for not telling about the other 40 licks you gave him—the ones for not telling our father first, and for saying he had when he hadn't. That makes 100. Then I reckon he'll give him twice the original 20 for playing hookey, then twice the other 40 licks. And I reckon you'll have told him you're going to give Jon 40 today, so he'll double those too. That makes, in all, 300 licks."

Three hundred licks! It made me feel slightly dizzy. I knew how much even 20 licks made my bottom throb and sting. Scores at a time, hundreds... I felt so bad for Jon, I wished I could take them for him. Well, some of them. Well, perhaps not after all. But I did feel very sorry.

"You're a good mathematician, William," said Mr. Ethan. "You've got it right! Mr. Ames and I did these same sums this morning and that's what we came up with, 300 licks. 300 licks still to come, that is — in addition to the first 140."

"When Mr. Ames and I spoke this morning, he pointed out that that's an awful lot of licks, and his arm would get tired. Also, poor Jonathan's hindquarters might wear out." He chuckled. "So we decided to split the work. Now, some more mathematics. If Mr. Ames and I want to get this punishment out of the way this week, and split the work between us, how many licks per day will Jonathan be getting at home and at school, and what percentage does that come out to per day, per place?"

Polly Jackson was the first to raise her hand. "Jonathan will get 30 licks at school and 30 at home from Monday to Friday, Mr. Ethan. You and Mr. Ames will each be giving 10% of the punishment per day."

"Very good, Polly! You have a fine head for mathematics. I shall give Jonathan 15 licks at the beginning of the day and 15 just before class lets out. Yes, I'm afraid Jonathan is learning his lesson the hard way. It is best to be truthful and honest. That's why I'm very glad his brother William told me about Jonathan's truancy to begin with."

My heart stopped and my stomach dropped into the floor. Some of the students gasped, and heads swiveled to look at me.

"William asked me to keep this confidential, but I feel it is to his credit that he was so honest and straightforward, and I wanted to make the comparison clear – the one brother upright and true, the other wayward and in need of severe discipline. Thank you, William, for the example you set."

My mouth had gone dry. I glanced at Jonathan, who was staring at me, his eyes mere slits, his face red.

Jonathan turned to Mr. Ethan. "It was William who forged the note."

"What? What did you say?"

"The note from our father that said I was sick. It was William who forged our father's writing and signature."

Mr. Ethan turned to me, an astonished look on his face.

"Surely that isn't true, William?"

"No, sir!"

He turned back to Jonathan. "It's true I wondered how a boy with such poor handwriting as you managed such a fine forgery. And William's handwriting has always been excellent. But how can you prove you're not just making this up to get revenge on your brother?"

"He did it three other times this year for himself, sir. That's how I knew to ask him."

Mr. Ethan looked at me again, appraisingly. "Is it you who are lying, William, or your brother?"

"It's - it's him, sir!" I choked out.

Slowly Mr. Ethan went to his desk and looked at his attendance records. "September 24... November 8... April 21," he muttered.

He came and stood in front of my desk. I stared down at my hands.

"William, did you play hookey on September 24th?"

"No, sir!"

"Did you play hookey on November 8th?"

"No, sir!"

"Did you play hookey on April 21st?"

"No, sir!"

"I have here the notes of excuse you presented. Did you forge the note for September 24th?"

"No, sir!"

"Did you forge the note for November 8th?"

"No, sir!"

"Did you forge the note for April 21st?"

"No, sir!"

"William, I am now going to compare these notes with the note that Jonathan presented last week when he played hookey. I hope for your sake that they are not too similar."

My mind went blank in panic. Why hadn't I confessed? What had I gotten myself into with all those lies? Mr. Ethan went back to his desk and retrieved the note Jonathan had given him. He spent a couple of minutes examining them, then put them down.

He went to the blackboard. "Some more mathematics, class. Jonathan's forged note resembles in every respect, down to the exact wording, the three notes that William presented. How many licks will William get?"

After five minutes of calculations, Jonathan raised his hand.

"Yes, Jonathan?"

"William will get 20 licks from you for forging my note, sir, and 20 licks for lying about it. Then Father will give him 20 and 20 for those things, then double yours. That makes 120. Then you'll give 20 for each time he played hookey, 20 for lying about each one, and 20 for lying about the forged note for each one. That makes 60 for each, times 3 is 180. Plus 120 is 300, sir. Then Father will give him 20 for each time he played hookey, and 20 for each lie. That makes another 180, or 480. Then he'll give him double your 180, which is 360, plus 480 is 840 licks, sir." He grinned widely as he turned and looked at me. I looked down.

"Almost, Jonathan. Good try. Add to that another 20 from me for lying when I asked which of you was telling the truth. Add your father's 20 for the same offense, plus twice my 20. That makes 80 more, or... ?"

"920, sir!"

"Correct. And I'm going to add an extra 80 for your brother's exceptional duplicity and lack of loyalty to you, making it an even 1000." The class burst into mutters and gasps. "I will suggest to your father that we share the work at 50 licks each per day, with, here at school, 25 administered in the morning and 25 in the afternoon. That will take us through the end of next week. And now, William, I will ask you to come to the front of the class so that you and I may start demonstrating the results of all this calculation."

I got up and walked over to the table. My knees were like water. The table was directly in front of Jon's desk, and he was sitting up straight and looking elated. The rest of the class was also keenly interested; some were glaring at me disapprovingly, others were grinning and nodding to one another.

"Bend over this table, please," said Mr. Ethan, "But one more thing. I rarely take this extra measure, but I believe it is called for in this case. In fact, I will advise your father to do the same at home, and I think he will agree. William, I must ask you to lower your trousers and your underpants."

My fingers trembling, I did so and bent over. Mr. Ethan lifted the tail of my shirt and folded it over onto my back. A cool draft on my bottom made me shiver. But soon, I knew, my bottom would be warm indeed.

"And now, class," said Mr. Ethan, "Applied mathematics. Please observe carefully." And he swung the strap for the first lick.


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