Advice to Parents and Guardians


by Juan Santiago <Palizaus2000@yahoo.com>

I am the foster father of an average eleven-year-old boy and I have been puzzled by reports about fathers or uncles who spank their teen-aged sons over the knee, with the palm of their hands. I can't understand this. Not only is a hand spanking useless on boys over the age of five or six, but the reports also maintain that these boys howled and screamed with pain. I feel this is mere fantasy.

My eleven-year-old who, by the way, is only a few months away from his twelfth birthday is, as I said, an average boy, which means he is lazy, forgetful, inconsiderate, not too clean, cowardly when confronted with any of these faults, hasty in making stupid excuses, and so on and on.

But I have found that there are two very helpful items to control the boy. The cane and the tawse. I have several specimens of each and use them in accordance with the degree of mischief. I am of the opinion that, unless you use considerable severity when punishing a boy his age, it is not only a waste of time and energy, but may even be counterproductive for the boy who thinks little of a few taps on his backside. It may hurt for a few minutes but will soon be forgotten. As I mentioned earlier, boys are usually quite forgetful.

So it is my experience that the more severe you are with a boy, the faster he will learn. Of course the punishments will have to be repeated regularly due to the short memories of boys, but at least they will last longer than a few minutes.

Now, I never give my boy less than 12 strokes of the cane or 20 with the tawse. Usually it is considerably more. The punishments are administered without exception on the boy's naked buttocks, from the center down to the first few inches of thigh so that the marks can readily be seen below the hems of his shorts.

For those moments when I would like to give him some spanks for minor infractions such as lack of attention when doing his homework (under my supervision) or when walking outdoors, I also have a good, thick leather strap which takes the place of my hand. It is short and quite wide and leaves very satisfactory welts and bruises on the exposed thighs. When he sits, I aim for the soft inner parts of his thighs, when outdoors, at a shop or on the street, I usually apply it to the backs of his thighs, high up, near the hems of the shorts. If he is already wealed on those parts, the stroke will be all the more effective. Those livid strap marks will also cause comments from people I meet during the walks and cause the boy the necessary shame.

Also, these whippings should take place in the presence of family, friends or acquaintances. If you can get a sympathetic stranger to witness the operation, so much the better, since humiliating the boy should always be part of his punishment. Lecture the boy in front of the guests, then have him lower his shorts (normally, underpants are not a required garment, but if they are, they should of course also be lowered) and raise his shirt. Then lecture him some more.

A leather couch or chair with a low back or well-padded arm rests are most suitable for a boy's punishment. Have the boy bend well over the back or arm rests so that his bottom is the highest point. Legs should be open as wide as possible - shorts will have to be removed if you want to have the legs open wide enough to make the bottom gape and the inner cheeks available for discipline. The boy must retain this position throughout his whipping. If he disobeys and so much as lifts his face from the chair seat, start the beating from the beginning. Have him control his screams as well. Usually keeping his face buried in the leather cushions will stifle most of the noise, but guests should not be annoyed with a lot of howls and roars.

You may ask yourselves, just how much punishment is enough? How do I know the boy has learned his lesson? When should I stop? The answer, of course, depends on the boy, his physical and mental development, his general character and disposition. But if he is like most boys, I would advise the following general guidelines:

Never pay attention to his screams and howls. Boys like to make a lot of noise under the (false) impression that they will shorten their punishment by this behaviour. The opposite should be true. If the boy can't control himself when undergoing deserved discipline, he should be whipped even harder until he does. Each stroke must be laid on full force. Half-hearted cuts are a waste of time.

The same applies to his physical movements, contortions, kicking legs or gesticulating arms. Just disregard those as they sometimes have the same origin as the cries, or are simply reflexes to the pain in his behind.

What you should go by is the state of his buttocks. Both cheeks and the upper thighs should be well and deeply wealed (as well as the unavoidable bruises) and some swelling is certainly desirable. You should try and avoid breaking the skin. This can't be avoided when using the birch rod (or the twigs of any other suitable tree or bush) and sometimes when the cane is applied across previous welts. But when using the tawse, blood is unnecessary. The boy's buttocks can be whipped black and blue without drawing blood, and they should be for the punishment to be effective.

When using the cane, aim for a spot a millimeter or so below the previous stroke. Start at the middle of the cheeks and work your way down towards the thighs. Concentrate on that fold between buttock and thigh (where the boy sits) and then move upwards again. When the cane strikes across previous welts, a bit of blood can be ignored. Since a boy of this age has a rather small backside, there is no way to avoid striking the same marks again and again.

And don't be put off my the state of a boy's behind after punishment. It will heal and the effects will linger in the boy's memory for several days. However, should he commit a new offense the next day, or even on the same day as a previous whipping, disregard the marks and just punish the child as if his bottom were in pristine condition. It will be the boy's own doing if his bruised backside is once more undergoing discipline.

Finally, when you stand the boy up after a thorough beating, question him closely about what he has learned. If you feel he is not contrite enough, have him bend over again and resume the thrashing. Repeat as often as necessary until you are firmly convinced that the boy is sorry for having committed the fault, not just sorry that he has a painful backside.

When you are really satisfied on that point, have the boy stand in a corner of the punishment room, shorts still around his ankles, hands on his head or behind his neck for an hour or so, regardless of who may enter the room during that time. It might be beneficial to make certain that some member of the family, or a servant, or a guest, enters the room and makes a few humorous remarks about the bare-bottomed, naughty little schoolboy in the corner.

When the time is up, you release the boy from his corner, allow him to pull up his shorts and go to his room to do his homework, or help his mother in the kitchen, or do whatever chores he is assigned. Ignore his stiff-legged gait or his moans and groans as he moves about.

If this system is followed regularly, and no offence, no matter how insignificant, is allowed to go unpunished, the boy's behaviour will improve, if not immediately, at least gradually over the following months and years. Don't worry if the boy's backside is permanently covered with livid stripes and blue black bruises. As long as his behind is sore and tender, he will be careful not to misbehave as much as usual. And keep him in those brief, tight little shorts as long as possible so everyone can see the marks across the backs of his thighs (or fronts).


More stories by Juan Santiago