When Reggie and Mike got caught in the act
At eight o'clock in the morning,
Smoking tobacco they''d rolled up and packed
In spite of their parents' warning,
They knew they'd be punished for breaking the law,
And in this town, for what the policeman saw,
Little boys could be whipped till their bottoms are raw...
At eight o'clock in the morning.
When Reggie and Mike were brought to the judge
At ten o'clock in the morning,
He decided the case and from there would not budge,
Nor let the boys go with a warning,
But sentenced them both to the strictest of fare:
To be tied up three hours in the town's central square
And be publicly whipped with their bottoms all bare...
At ten o'clock in the morning.
Both boys would so love to forget that whole time,
Awaiting the following morning...
The Juvenile Hall food was not worth a dime!
Moreover, without any warning
The guards took the boys' shoes and clothing away,
The medics examined them naked that day
And took both their temperatures quite the WRONG way,
Awaiting the following morning...
Mike and. Reggie were waked from their short, fitful sleep
At five o'clock in the morning
And. thrown their shirts, shoes and socks all in a heap
And told with the sternest warning:
"Just. put these things on as you'd normally wear,
But you won't find your pants or your undies in there,
So don't try to cover your butts: leave them bare,
At five o'clock in the morning.
The Warden came by to the boys in his care
At six o'clock in the morning
To let them all know what would happen out there,
And also to give them a warning:
"That strap stings a lot, boys, but it doesn't kill;
It hurts a lot less if you try to stand still.
Just don't try to escape, or you'll get twice your fill,"
At six o'clock in the morning.
Now Reggie and Mike are led out to the square
At seven o'clock in the morning
And tied up with their legs and their bottoms all bare,
To serve other kids as a warning.
To witness their youngsters bare-bottomed, half-stripped
As the helpless boys wait to be publicly whipped,
Their mothers and fathers stand grim-faced, tight-lipped
At seven o'clock in the morning.
Mike's neighbors and Reggie's entire soccer team
At eight o'clock in the morning
Are all gathered to watch, and their little eyes gleam
Without pretext of horror or scorning.
"Oh, see Mike and Reggie without any pants!
I'd be SO embarrassed!" one little boy chants.
This he just keeps repeating as though in a trance
At eight o'clock in the morning.
Ned and Andrew, the bailiffs, each took out his strap
At nine o'clock in the morning
And gave each boy''s bare bottom the first stinging "WHAP"
Without even the least word of warning.
Nine more times the thick leather on boyflesh will fall
Till each boy's behind has ten red stripes in all,
And both boys quite loudly and tearfully bawl
At nine o'clock in the morning.
Mike and Reggie at last were untied, led away
At ten o'clock in the morning.
Every second till then, though, they both had to stay
Bare-bottomed, to serve as a warning.
Three whole hours their bare bottoms from no eye were hid,
And anyone present there, grown-up or kid.,
Could squeeze, pat, or smack them (and quite a few did!)
Till ten o'clock in the morning!
Mike and Reggie went back to their families then,
At ten o'clock in the morning,
And were given their pants and their undies again,
And they swore they'd need NO further warning!
There was just nothing worse: to be whipped till red-assed
In front of the whole town! The lesson would last:
Yes, tobacco for them was a thing of the past
At ten o'clock in the morning!